The Smiling Shelves Soapbox is a chance for me to rant or rave about bookish things.
What has happened to commitment in fiction? Since when does “true love” make it okay to leave a spouse for a new interest (fling, lover, object of lust. . .)? Why does being bored with your life give you permission to have an affair?
This may not have jumped out at me so strongly if I hadn’t read two books in a row that “solve” dissatisfaction in life with an affair. The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd and Pilate’s Wife by Antoinette May both follow female main characters who decide that their husbands don’t deserve their fidelity. No one said being faithful to a spouse was easy. No one said you would feel “in love” forever. Love is not a feeling; it is a choice.
This may not have jumped out at me so strongly if I hadn’t read two books in a row that “solve” dissatisfaction in life with an affair. The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd and Pilate’s Wife by Antoinette May both follow female main characters who decide that their husbands don’t deserve their fidelity. No one said being faithful to a spouse was easy. No one said you would feel “in love” forever. Love is not a feeling; it is a choice.
Claudia from Pilate’s Wife and Jessie from The Mermaid Chair live two thousand years apart, but their stories are similar. Life does not make them happy. A man with a touch of the unknown, a mystery, enters their life. Suddenly they must have that man, no matter the consequences to their husbands or children. And these men (Holtan and Whit, respectively) are most certainly their true loves, the men they were meant to be with for the rest of their lives. Oh, please. That’s not true love. That’s lust. Especially since it doesn’t take long for the relationships to become physical. It’s not a mental or spiritual love (despite Sue Monk Kidd making Whit a monk). It’s not any sort of love that a long-term relationship – a marriage – can be based on. Both women talk about the future, plan for a future with their lover, but it inevitably doesn’t work out (I can’t really call that a plot spoiler, can I? Surely we all saw that coming.).
I understand that people can be dissatisfied with their lives, that they can look for a way to change their humdrum existence. But if literature is constantly presenting having an affair as an acceptable solution to this problem, more and more people – real people, not tie-up-all-loose-ends fictional characters – will choose this path. Marriages are hard work. Fidelity requires a daily commitment. Boredom does not give you an excuse to stop working on these things.
I want to read a book where the main character chooses their husband over a potential lover. I want to read about their daily decisions to keep showing love even when they are not feeling love. These are compelling stories, realistic stories, inspiring stories. Let’s raise the standard of today’s fiction and honor those people who show a commitment to their marriage and their spouse, through better or worse.
I want to read a book where the main character chooses their husband over a potential lover. I want to read about their daily decisions to keep showing love even when they are not feeling love. These are compelling stories, realistic stories, inspiring stories. Let’s raise the standard of today’s fiction and honor those people who show a commitment to their marriage and their spouse, through better or worse.
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