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Smiling Shelves

Smiling Shelves Soapbox - Infidelity in Fiction

12/3/2013

4 Comments

 
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The Smiling Shelves Soapbox is a chance for me to rant or rave about bookish things.
What has happened to commitment in fiction? Since when does “true love” make it okay to leave a spouse for a new interest (fling, lover, object of lust. . .)? Why does being bored with your life give you permission to have an affair?

This may not have jumped out at me so strongly if I hadn’t read two books in a row that “solve” dissatisfaction in life with an affair. The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd and Pilate’s Wife by Antoinette May both follow female main characters who decide that their husbands don’t deserve their fidelity. No one said being faithful to a spouse was easy. No one said you would feel “in love” forever. Love is not a feeling; it is a choice.
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Claudia from Pilate’s Wife and Jessie from The Mermaid Chair live two thousand years apart, but their stories are similar. Life does not make them happy. A man with a touch of the unknown, a mystery, enters their life. Suddenly they must have that man, no matter the consequences to their husbands or children. And these men (Holtan and Whit, respectively) are most certainly their true loves, the men they were meant to be with for the rest of their lives. Oh, please. That’s not true love. That’s lust. Especially since it doesn’t take long for the relationships to become physical. It’s not a mental or spiritual love (despite Sue Monk Kidd making Whit a monk). It’s not any sort of love that a long-term relationship – a marriage – can be based on. Both women talk about the future, plan for a future with their lover, but it inevitably doesn’t work out (I can’t really call that a plot spoiler, can I? Surely we all saw that coming.).

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I understand that people can be dissatisfied with their lives, that they can look for a way to change their humdrum existence. But if literature is constantly presenting having an affair as an acceptable solution to this problem, more and more people – real people, not tie-up-all-loose-ends fictional characters – will choose this path. Marriages are hard work. Fidelity requires a daily commitment. Boredom does not give you an excuse to stop working on these things.

I want to read a book where the main character chooses their husband over a potential lover. I want to read about their daily decisions to keep showing love even when they are not feeling love. These are compelling stories, realistic stories, inspiring stories. Let’s raise the standard of today’s fiction and honor those people who show a commitment to their marriage and their spouse, through better or worse.

4 Comments
Joyful Reader link
12/3/2013 04:14:01 am

AMEN!!! But I am surprised that Kidd wrote such a story. I have read here Christian NON-FICTION and I find it hard to believe she is so flippant in portraying marriage a something you can just walk away from.
Quick question: When you come across a book that you dislike in this manner, do you stop reading or do you continue on in order to write a fair and honest review? I am almost done with a book that I am so disappointed in I can hardly stand it! But I have pushed through. My review will be the same though. DON'T READ IT! Just curious what you thought on quitting.

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Julie @ Smiling Shelves link
12/3/2013 01:48:14 pm

I didn't know Kidd wrote Christian non-fiction. That does make this book from her more surprising!

I think it depends on the book as to whether I'll quit reading or not. Sometimes the story still grabs me, even if I don't agree with the morals. Sometimes I have a strong opinion I want to share about the book (like with these two). In either of those cases, I'll keep reading. If it really bugs me and I don't want to review it, I probably won't bother finishing it (although that's theoretical, since I have a hard time not finishing a book!)

Reply
Rebecca @ Love at First Book link
12/3/2013 05:48:07 am

It's not just fiction. This is something that is happening allllllll over the place - on TV, movies. . . everywhere!

Reply
Julie @ Smiling Shelves link
12/3/2013 01:49:44 pm

You're right, Rebecca. Unfortunately, this attitude is becoming more prevalent in the media. I'm glad I made my opinion known. Now I'll work on being more choosy about the books I read! :)

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    My name is Julie, and I own a lot of books. As in, they are stacked on the floor because I've run out of room on the shelves. And those shelves? There are so many books on them that they smile -- not sag; smile. This blog will cover book reviews and all manner of other bookish things.

    You can contact me at julie@smilingshelves.com.

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